Hey baby, I heard you like self-deprecating pick-up lines. Is that true, baby?

Hey baby,

I heard you like girls with child-bearing hips, an irrational fear of commitment, and an addiction to simple carbohydrates. Is that true, baby?

Hey baby,

I heard you like girls who can’t distinguish between hunger and boredom and are very skilled in the art of avoiding any and all social interaction. Is that true, baby?

Hey baby,

I heard you like girls who are awkward around children and animals, yet want to have a small army of children and animals one day. Is that true, baby?

Hey baby,

I heard you like girls who are anxious, emotionally unavailable, and unapologetically bad at parking. Is that true, baby?

Hey baby,

I heard you like girls who would rather not hold hands or do anything in public that would let anyone know we are together. Is that true, baby?

Hey baby,

I heard you like girls who pick the m&m’s out of trail mix while reading their love horoscope for the week. Is that true, baby?

Hey baby,

I heard you like girls who are cynical, but romantic. And skeptical, but with unrealistically high expectations. Is that true, baby?

Hey baby,

I heard you like girls who know all the songs from Anastasia and can eat their way out of any life crisis. Is that true, baby?

Hey baby,

I heard that you like the bad girls. Honey, is that true?

Alright, that last one was Lana Del Rey, my inspiration for this post and everything in my life (kind of).

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