What’s Your Sign?

Suddenly I feel like the zodiac is trying to speak to me. Not in a zodiac killer kind of way. Like, I don’t want to murder people and then send cryptic messages to my local newspaper or anything….I’ve just been seeing and hearing and talking about star signs a lot lately.

The other day I was meeting with a lady at a staffing agency. After I told her I was very organized and detail-oriented she asked me what my sign was. No one has ever asked me that before (besides maybe a friend when we’re reading our horocopes. OH EM GEE GURL YOU’RE GONNA FIND LOVE ON THE 18TH WHEN YOUR MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE!) so I wasn’t sure if she was serious. So I kind of giggled and paused for what felt like an eon and said, “Virgo, also known as: anal-retentive bitch.” Just kidding. I only said the Virgo part. She thought I was a Capricorn because her sister is a Capricorn and she’s a perfectionist and likes to be in control and have everything in order. Maybe I’m really a Capricorn.

The next day I’m scrolling through my Twitter feed and I see that someone re-tweeted this:

Who me? Teeheeheeheehee

THEN (the plot thickens), I was getting my tumblr on yesterday and someone posted this:

I like to think that all of this is true. But then again I also like to think that a Virgo woman would never wear that ungodly outfit. That is NOT my idea of good color blocking. 

But wait, there’s more:

Okay, so some of these are definitely true. BUT I am so not argumentative or fussy or annoying. Right?? Overcritical, for sure. Oh my god, I just noticed this lady has a tattoo of a heart with an arrow through it. 

Does any of this mean anything? Does anything mean anything? All I really know is that Cosmo says I should challenge my boyfriend or hubby to a game of strip poker on the 7th. The lucky Sun will ensure that I win…leaving me with a sexy, naked man on my hands.

…..I don’t know how to play poker.

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2 thoughts on “What’s Your Sign?

  1. you also dont have a boyfriend or hubby so looks like you won’t have to worry about that poker game! i agree with all of those virgo things except for the last one… you’re not those things! you’re da bomb.

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