The 4 Types of Men That I Go For

Deny it all you want, but everyone has a type. Or, if you’re like me, multiple types. Although these aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive, all will definitely be emotionally unavailable and probably have dark hair.

1. The Quasi-Nerd.  I say quasi because I’m not talking a full-on Revenge of the Nerds guy, but more of a Seth Cohen-esque geek. He’s super smart and witty and will know exactly what I mean when I say that the tenth doctor is my favorite. He is highly skilled at wordplay and our banter would be never ending. He probably wears t-shirts with geometrical designs on them and he also makes math jokes. We would so totally do crossword puzzles together. I had a professor once that said he and his wife did the New York Times crossword together every morning, even over skype when he was out of town. How flippin cute is that, you guys? He was such a quasi-nerd.

2. The Outdoorsman. I boggle my own mind with this one, seeing as how I am sooo not outdoorsy. Don’t get me wrong, I can totally appreciate nature’s awesomeness. I read Emerson’s essay and was like, “Shit yeah, man! That’s dope!” Mountains are beautiful, but I don’t have any desire to climb them. And why on earth would I want to do something that requires me to wear a helmet and prop myself up on a giant flotation device to go rip roarin’ down the river? But these outdoorsy guys are always so…nice. They walk around and look up at the sky and just…smile! I mean, who does that?! They also wear flannel every day (even in the summertime somehow) and usually have some serious beardage going on. Score and score.

3. The Quintessential Alt-Bag. I like this guy because we’re both good at trying really hard to act like we’re not trying really hard. He has moustache wax in his medicine cabinet and wears leather jackets while leaning against old brick buildings. He listens to Joy Division on vinyl, has tattoos and probably a cat. Throw a cigarette in that mouth and I am going going gone. His faux laissez faire attitude makes me swoon so hard. This one’s the most emotionally unavailable of them all, but that’s okay because I am too! We can make this work, baby! Love will NOT tear us apart!

4. The Musician. Oh dear Lord kill me now, the musician. I love music. It is my guiding light, my North star. So it’s only natural that I develop this undying devotion to any dude that makes sweet sweet musical goodness. Sigh….guys who exercise the right side of their brains are so hot. I don’t even care what kind of instrument he plays. He could play the frickin lyre and I’d still be like, “Shall we make our way into your chamber, m’lord?” And then he’d be like, “As you wish, m’lady.” Beware, the alt-bag and musician combo is both common and dangerous, but I laugh in the face of danger!

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