7 Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life (…if I wrote for Cosmo)

What’s got these two looking so satisfied? Keep reading to find out.  

1. Become a bedroom ninja. Sneak into your man’s abode and hide under the bed, in his closet, or behind the shower curtain. Pretend you’re a crouching tiger waiting for his hidden dragon. When he’s least expecting it, surprise him and unleash your inner samurai. Want to up the ante? Tie a pair of silk panties around your head, ninja-style.

2. Make sure your mouth and hands are everywhere on his body – all at once. How is this possible, you ask? Grow two mouths and eight arms. That’s octo-hot.

3. Take foreplay to the next level. The literary level. This is a time for you to recite all the haikus you wrote about his forearms and hands. Not only will he appreciate your poetic vision, but he will be flattered that you like his forearms and hands.

4. Bring food into the boudoir. Forget the whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Men are carnivorous creatures and love steak. Marinate yourself in steak sauce all day and let him t-bone you instead.

5. Blindfolds…for both of you. This creates a heightening of the senses for both you and him. This will also improve communication because was that the tv remote or is he just happy to see you? Another bonus: you can play doctor the next day since you bruise very easily.

6. Take your love train into imagination station. Sit down in front of each other and stare deeply into into each other’s eyes. Next, go on a carnal knowledge quest…using only your minds. This is great for couples that wish to remain chaste and pure.

7. Wear his clothes. Men love it when you do this. Kick it up a notch by playing Madden Warfare World Cup all day while ignoring his texts and phone calls.

Source: Dr. Sexton at the I Promise I Know About Sex Institute 


3 thoughts on “7 Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life (…if I wrote for Cosmo)

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