How To Write A Romance Novel

5 easy steps to help you write the next Great American Romance Novel:

1. Select your characters (Female 1+Male 2 or Female 2+Male 1) 

  • Female 1: Strong and stubborn, yet disarmingly sensual. Owns a lingerie company. Probably a redhead.
  • Female 2: Fragile and intelligent, yet disarmingly sensual. Writer, painter, or photographer. Probably a blonde.
  • Male 1: Rugged tough guy with a soft side. His true feelings are dormant…until the right woman comes along to awaken them. Police Officer/Detective.
  • Male 2: Clean-cut lawyer with Mommy issues. Won’t take “no” for an answer…until the right woman comes along to challenge him.

2.  Select your setting:

  • Montana – Where love soars as high as the big sky.
  • Alaska – The temps are icy cold, but nothing can stifle the passion that boils between these two lovebirds.
  • Colorado – Here, love knows no heights, just like the surrounding mountains of majesty.
  • Louisiana – Hot. Sticky. Spicy. Not talking about the food.

3. Select your crisis:

  • Murder
  • Fire
  • Murder and fire
  • Stolen horse
  • Murdered horse
  • Trapped in an abandoned cabin

4.  The long road to love isn’t always an easy one. Choose your “love obstacle”:

  • Social status. It’s a tale as old as time. She’s too “uppity” and he just isn’t good enough for her.
  • A mysterious past. What’s he hiding? Why’s he getting all Don Draper up in this piece with all these secrets? When she asks him about his family, why does he freeze up? WHO IS HE AND FROM WHERE DOES HE HAIL?
  • Single parenthood. Does she really want to let someone else in? Her baby daddy was such an asshole. Therefore, all men are assholes.

5. Choose when your two main characters decide to get it on:

  • At the very start: Hot and heavy. A little too hot and heavy? How do they feel about this? They didn’t think it would be so hot and heavy. CONFLICTED EMOTIONS. SO HOT. SO HEAVY.
  • In the middle: They just can’t fight the feeling anymore. (This is most common, because there is still time for one of them to eff things up and then they can make up and do it again)
  • At the end: Fi-na-lly! (This one is very rare, but doable. Too much build up. Don’t keep the reader waiting too long)
  • Never: YEAH RIGHT. GET REAL.

I would know nothing about the Romance genre if it weren’t for Sandra Brown. And I wouldn’t know about Sandra Brown if it weren’t for my Mom, whose books I used to sneakily read before I was “old enough.” Thanks Sandra and Mom, you taught me everything I know.

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7 thoughts on “How To Write A Romance Novel

  1. I love this so much. I love it almost as much as I loved all of your random comments while you were writing it.

    But excuse me, where do the brunettes come in? ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT BRUNETTES DON’T HAVE ANY PLACE IN A ROMANCE NOVEL?

    This is an outrage. I’m dying my hair.

  2. #1. Do not dye your hair.

    #2. Start freelance writing. You are too hilarious to confine to a blog.

    #3. I see you follow Joy the Baker, we published her cookbook, want me to send it to you? 🙂

  3. ha. I just checked out two Sandra Brown books from the library. Also, these settings remind me of Nora Roberts. As of now I am collecting “ridiculous quotes from romance novels” for a future blog. But I still LOVE to read them!

    • I love to read them too! So bad, but so GOOD. Harlequin novels are the absolute worst, though. (And by worst I mean best)

      Can’t wait for your post with the quotes!

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