5 Things I’ve Learned Since Graduating

I graduated back in May*. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Job hunting blows. You go on these seemingly harmless websites looking for a simple “Data Entry Clerk” job and next thing you know you’re getting a shit ton of emails telling you that (Insert company name here) wants you! Sure they want you, along with every other poor soul who gave them their email address. (Snagajob, I’m looking at you)

2.  Being unemployed blows. Getting to sleep in until 1 o’clock because you were up all night watching The Vampire Diaries sounds great in theory, right? WRONG. After awhile you start questioning your self-worth and your ability to speak coherently. You start asking yourself questions like, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? CIRCLE OF LIFE? WHERE IS MY PLACE IN THE FABRIC OF TIME? You also have to eat a pb&j for every meal, which gets old real fast.

3. You WILL find a job! And it will be the greatest moment of your life. Your weekly paycheck will be a beacon of hope in the dark, dark, world you’ve been living in. Now, you can be really irresponsible with your money and go on crazy spending sprees in Target because you feel like that kid in the movie Blank Check. Look at all the hair and beauty products you can buy! Maybe you’ll spend a couple hundred bucks on some shitty highlights!

4. A 9 to 5 schedule has it’s perks. Sometimes your days will drag on so slowly that you think you might die. You stare blankly at your computer screen and see what kinds of cool shapes you can make with a paperclip. BUT, when 5 o’clock rolls around you feel SO FREE. No more papers to write at two in the morning, no more group projects to stress over (ain’t that right Bhines?), and no more walking to class in the cold and/or rain. This feeling is multiplied by 5,000 on Fridays and 10,000 before major holidays.

5. Que Sera Sera. What will be, will be!!!!!! This is the most important thing. You might get a job right out of the gate. You might go through three agonizing months of applications and interviews before you land a j-o-b. It’s taken me 7 months to realize that whatever happens, happens. THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER. Go prosper yourselves and stuff.

*What’s the statute of limitations on being able to say “I just graduated”?

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8 thoughts on “5 Things I’ve Learned Since Graduating

  1. Let’s be positive-
    5 GREAT things about Being a New Graduate!
    1. You can wear tank and sweats in the middle of the day (yesssss)
    2. You have the perfect excuse to eat DiGiorno Pizza and Roman Noodles Nightly (and enjoy that metabolism girl)!
    3. You have time to find yourself (when you get married and knocked up you won’t have time to find socks).
    4. You can easily get rid of salesman… “I am an unemployed college grad”.
    5. Daydreaming about meeting your husband at the door with a glass of wine after a day at the office is so much better than actually meeting your husband at the door with a car repair bill and your son’s report card after a day of working with crazy adults. 🙂

  2. Geez, this really makes me want to graduate in 11 days NOT!

    Well, except for NO MORE GROUP PROJECTS EVER!!!!!!! You were right about that. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. DOOOOOONE. ADIOS.

  3. Job hunting is the WORST. But you know what’s even worse than that? Looking for an apartment in New York City. No lie, worst experience of my life. I’ll blog about it one day, but I still have PTSD from it so I need to wait awhile.

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