I am doomed to spinsterdom because:

  • Last night, after putting on one of those avocado and oatmeal-Nature! All natural! It’s all natural!- masks, I thought, Hey! I look just like Hannibal Lecter!
  • I google things like, “How to read my palm” and “Felicity quotes”
  • I could (probably) go years without leaving the house…as long as I have Internet access.
  • I basically just said that I want to spend the rest of my life with the Internet.
  • Guys scare the shit out of me. What are these mysterious creatures? Men? Men are from Mars, women are from Venus?
  • My biggest goal in life, lately, is to win three games of Mahjong in a row. So far I’ve won one.
  • After typing “won one,” I thought, Homonyms! Yay! …or is it homophones? 
  • I had an internal debate with myself the other day about whether I should buy a new comforter or The Sims 3. I chose The Sims 3. I made my bed (without a new comforter), now I must lay in it. (Is it “lay in it” or “lie in it”? When I try to google it, the only thing that wants to come up are the lyrics to Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5. Adam Levine says “lay in it”)
  • I actually like Maroon 5.
  • I took a quiz the other day that told me which character I would be from The Walking Dead. I got Lori – the strong, caring, mother. I lied on all the questions. I really have more of an “every man for himself” mentality when it comes to the zombie apocalypse. But for real though, The Walking Dead is a great show.
  • What was I talking about?
  • My emotional wall is as tall, cold, and impenetrable as The Wall on Game of Thrones. What lies beyond the wall? But for real though, Game of Thrones is a great show.
  • I curl up at night, not with the latest Nicholas Sparks book, but with Psychology of the Unconscious by Carl Jung. I also read Norton Anthologies for fun. WHO DOES THAT. I DO OKAY.
  • Jon Hamm.

6 thoughts on “I am doomed to spinsterdom because:

  1. Girl, you’re killin’ me! First, we all look like Hannibal Lecter when we put oatmeal on our faces. Second, palm readers are the devil, don’t do that anymore. Third, everyone has goals in life; Mahjong is fun. Fourth, comforter or Sims 3, I would ALWAYS choose the game or variety puzzle book, self-satisfaction never fails! Fifth, I tried to watch The Walking Dead and lasted about 5 minutes, too creepy for Ma. Sixth, Lori sounds like me, don’t ya think? Seventh, you do have a wall, but it’s not impenetrable! Eighth, I would also rather read Carl Jung than Nicholas Sparks. Sparks is way too sad and mushy, Carl Jung is about real-life stuff. Ninth (and most importantly), You are your own person and I love you just the way you are (I sung Billy Joel’s
    “Just the way you are” while typing that).

    p.s. “it’s lie in it” (sorry Adam…swoon!)

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