What Girls Do

  • Plan our weddings. Even though a wedding is not in our foreseeable future. We don’t care. Instead, we think things like, I want kind of an indie wedding. Like in a field somewhere so I can wear this vintage lace dress and one of those retro veils and have red lipstick on and my groom and his groomsmen will wear camel suits (if it’s Spring) or dark gray (if it’s Fall). And then our reception will be outside with these huge white tents (if it’s Spring) or in a barn with white lights hanging everywhere (if it’s Fall) and it’s just this big-ass celebration of LOVE AND COMMITMENT. 
  • Obsess. Over what? EVERYTHING. 
  • Overanalyze. Wait, so when he says “Yeah, okay” in a text message, does he really mean “Yeah, okay”? Or, like, does he not mean it? Shit! Is he mad at me? What kind of tone does he have? Am I getting on his nerves? That’s it, I’m never texting him again. 
  • Pick out baby names. How bout something classic like Anna Louise? Or better yet, something off the wall like Aurora Borealis. 
  • Overthink. Should I wear this belt? Or this other belt that looks exactly the same, but different? Do you think I’m annoying him with these texts? What does “Yeah, okay” mean? What should I say back? How long should I wait to say something back? He made me wait 30 minutes! That bastard! Now, I’m going to make him wait an hour. That’ll show him. What’s taking him so long to respond? He hates me. Wall comment or message? I don’t want it to seem like I’m being all secretive and shiz. Does this eyeliner make my face look fat? Why can’t I ever find the right foundation shade? Maybe I should buy more. Nah, I need to save money. Is makeup tax deductible? 
  • Go on diets…that last all of three hours. I’m so fat! Let me eat an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy to make me feel better about myself! 
  • Discuss all of  the above with our amigas. SISTERHOOD FOREVAAAA.
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4 thoughts on “What Girls Do

  1. For real, I don’t know if I do any of these things! I’ve thought about my wedding, but I haven’t planned it, and I don’t obsess over texts or anything else… what’s wrong with me?!?!

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