So…I decided to come home for a week and let me tell you it’s like a time warp or something. I find myself doing the same things I did during my carefree summers of yesteryear(s); Sleeping in until 12, watching MTV all day long, eating everything in sight (seriously I just ate a shitload of dill pickles and carrots dipped in thousand island dressing. Who does that?), not bathing, not brushing my teeth, just being so unbearably lazy. Except now, I feel so guilty about it. I have no job lined up. No internshi HOLD UP a commercial just came on for the “Mighty Wallet.” IS THAT THING FOR REAL? “It’s not a paper wallet,” they say. It’s a mighty wallet. Look! We can pour a bucket of water in this thing and even though your money is now a soggy mess, your wallet sure as hell isn’t! Yay!
Sorry, let me get back to complaining. Wait, one more thing. This woman on 16 and pregnant just said that Cleondra should name her kid Twilight. Say whhhaaaa? We shall name her Twilight. Because she possesses the dark, serene beauty of a twilit night.
HER MOM WAS TOO SQUEAMISH TO BE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM WITH HER. That is so sad. Mom, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that you better be in the delivery room with me when I have my (4 or 5) children. I won’t be having them all at once (hopefully). But by the fifth one you and I will be used to it (hopefully).
Anyway, I’ve applied for some jobs but I hate waiting. It’s so hard to be patient when your bank account is dwindling and you have to be like “Ok, do I want to pay for food or cable?” That’s a tough decision for me you guys. I love me some tv.
Moral of this post: Don’t watch MTV unless you want to feel all teen angst-y again. Seriously, I’m on the verge of going down to my room so I can stare at the ceiling wondering WHAT IT ALL MEANS?
I’ve actually never stopped doing that. WILL I EVER ESCAPE THIS EXISTENTIAL CRISIS? Speaking of existential crises, I’m planning a post on movies about that very thing. I welcome any recommendations.
Hope you missed me while I was gone. Or that you at least kind of noticed my absence. Or you didn’t. I mean, I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. But, ya know, I hope you care!!!!