Somehow this became all about 16 and Pregnant

I’m back.

So…I decided to come home for a week and let me tell you it’s like a time warp or something. I find myself doing the same things I did during my carefree summers of yesteryear(s); Sleeping in until 12, watching MTV all day long, eating everything in sight (seriously I just ate a shitload of dill pickles and carrots dipped in thousand island dressing. Who does that?), not bathing, not brushing my teeth, just being so unbearably lazy. Except now, I feel so guilty about it. I have no job lined up. No internshi HOLD UP a commercial just came on for the “Mighty Wallet.” IS THAT THING FOR REAL? “It’s not a paper wallet,” they say. It’s a mighty wallet. Look! We can pour a bucket of water in this thing and even though your money is now a soggy mess, your wallet sure as hell isn’t! Yay!

Sorry, let me get back to complaining. Wait, one more thing. This woman on 16 and pregnant just said that Cleondra should name her kid Twilight. Say whhhaaaa? We shall name her Twilight. Because she possesses the dark, serene beauty of a twilit night.

HER MOM WAS TOO SQUEAMISH TO BE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM WITH HER. That is so sad. Mom, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that you better be in the delivery room with me when I have my (4 or 5) children. I won’t be having them all at once (hopefully). But by the fifth one you and I will be used to it (hopefully).

Anyway, I’ve applied for some jobs but I hate waiting. It’s so hard to be patient when your bank account is dwindling and you have to be like “Ok, do I want to pay for food or cable?” That’s a tough decision for me you guys. I love me some tv.

Moral of this post: Don’t watch MTV unless you want to feel all teen angst-y again. Seriously, I’m on the verge of going down to my room so I can stare at the ceiling wondering WHAT IT ALL MEANS?

I’ve actually never stopped doing that.  WILL I EVER ESCAPE THIS EXISTENTIAL CRISIS? Speaking of existential crises, I’m planning a post on movies about that very thing. I welcome any recommendations.

Hope you missed me while I was gone. Or that you at least kind of noticed my absence. Or you didn’t. I mean, I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. But, ya know, I hope you care!!!!


Taking a Breather

I’ve decided to take a little break from blogging for a wee bit. I’ve got some other fish to fry for the next couple of weeks.

Here’s Jon Hamm’s face to keep you company while you wait for the prodigal daughter’s return:

Don’t forget me while I’m gone.


I just caught myself sitting like this in front of my computer:

And then I thought, What am I doing? This isn’t even comfortable! And this isn’t even amusing! Let me blog about my horrible posture! 

My Tuesday night:

  • Start to watch the Gossip Girl from last night. Why is Serena being such a little bia bia?
  • Decide that I want to eat dinner while I watch. Because I freakin love multitasking, like you don’t even know.
  • Go get food because I don’t feel like eating a turkey sandwich again or boiling pasta. The dolla menu is mah friend.
  • Finish watching GG. Decide I don’t really like any of the characters right now. Why do I still watch this?
  • Walk around my room. What to do? What to do?
  • Stand in front of bathroom mirror and ponder the possibility of trimming my bangs. Decide no, it’s hot outside now, I need to let ’em grow a little. (I’m not going to try to explain my bang logic. Just go with it.)
  • Dive onto bed and stare at ceiling. What to do? What to do?
  • Read? No.
  • Work on lab that’s due tomorrow? HELL NO.
  • Catch up on blog reading? Okay, sure.
  • Watch clips from When Harry Met Sally. I love youtube. And by love I mean adore.
  • Decide I want a new Twitter background. Because that matters, like, SO MUCH, ya know? Go with Jordan Catalano because I just like how he’s always leaning.
  • Check facebook.
  • Catch myself sitting like the above picture.
  • Decide to blog about it.
  • Somehow end up looking at pictures of Bill Pullman, circa when he had a small part in the movie Singles. Oh yeah, I just watched that yesterday. That’s why I googled it.
  • See a picture of him from While You Were Sleeping. Remember that I like that movie.
  • Go back to this blog post and decide to tell you all about what I did on this fine evening.

Now, leave me be whilst I try to find a really crappy version of While You Were Sleeping online.