Got my introversion to keep me warm at night.

I kind of hate it when my friends are always like, “I wish guys knew you like WE know you. They’d be lining up and taking numbers for a date if they knew how funny you are!”

Ummm. Okay. So should I open with a knock knock joke? Or just jump right in with some deadpan remark about how tasty this keg beer is? No, I got it! I’ll ask him what his stance is on the new square bottom Solo cups. (But for real, why rock the bout, Solo cup peeps?)

Wait, quick question though. What reinforcement have women received which makes us think that being funny is the most redeeming quality we can have when attracting a dude? Cosmo does not tell us this. If Cosmo does not tell us this, it cannot be true. All we have to do is put some perfume in our cleavage and we are ready to rock and roll.

I do get what my friends are saying, though. They’re saying I shouldn’t just stand in a corner and observe the party like a psycho stalker, conjuring up spells to get that tall drink of water to come up to me. I should be active in the partay and do my fake little giggle and ‘oh-you’re-so-funny-I-wish-I-was-funny-like-you’ forearm touch/push. Teehehehehehe, I better bat those eyelashes like I mean it! Can I get some more liquid courage over here?

Really, though, I like having an understated sense of humor. I also like deluding myself into thinking that I’m that mysteeerious girl. Where does she come from? Where has she been? WHO IS SHE? Lets just say I like to surprise people when they least expect it. So then the sky opens up, cherub angels descend, and everyone’s all, “She speaks!!!”

Ah, but then again, I also kind of love it when my friends are like, “I wish guys knew you like WE know you. They’d be lining up and taking numbers for a date if they knew how funny you are!” Because at least someone gets my jokes.

Oh, enough about that! Look what Miley Cyrus would look like with Steve Buscemi’s eyes!

This site is a true comedic goldmine.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Got my introversion to keep me warm at night.

  1. a) “my fake little giggle and ‘oh-you’re-so-funny-I-wish-I-was-funny-like-you’ forearm touch/push” … I feel like my “brittany giggle” just got called out.

    b) you are mysterious

    c) i don’t know who steve buscemi is

    d) all those pictures with those eyes CREEP ME OUT. and i feel like i should be squinting my eyes or something i don’t know. i got the heeber geebers!

    • a) hahah i almost wrote in “brittany giggle” for that, but you’d be the only one to get it. woo!
      b) i used to sing this song that i made up when i was little. it said “it’s a mysteryyyy. things are happening everyyyyy daaaaayyyyy”
      c) he es un actor
      d) well, it’s funny to us who know who steve buscemi is. there, there.

  2. You’re lookin’ for the real (and rare) thing – a guy intelligent enough to see the real you,not the freak who wants a giggly, you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread (boy I’m dating myself with that one)botoxed, cleavaged vamp. Nothin’ wrong with waitin’ for him! Just don’t settle!!!

  3. Wow, I just wrote a post so similar to this! I’ve just finished reading an OBSCENE amount of your archives… you crack. me. up.

    Looking forward to future posts!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s