Stop listening to Taking Back Sunday. You stop that right now, you hear me???
Also, Nirvana isn’t THAT great. Stop obsessing. Why did you buy the Kurt Cobain Journals? WHY? Focus more on Dave Grohl. He’s still cool. And hot.
And while we’re talking about music, don’t give up on learning to play the guitar. Seriously. Dumbest move ever. Now I/we feel that it’s pointless to even try it again. Basically, I/we are still as lazy as ever. But what else do you have to do right now? Listen to TBS? I told you to put that ish down.
Stop shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister. American Eagle is okay (to some extent). But then again, I don’t know where to tell you to shop since this store called H&M isn’t even on your radar yet. You will be pleasantly surprised to find clothing options that don’t include tattered hoodies and duplicate tank tops in various colors (GAG).
At only 50 bucks a pop, who could resist?!
That guy you like right now? LOSER. (Just kidding! Actually, I don’t know if I’m kidding. I have no idea what he’s like now)
Keep watching Edward Norton movies.
Your boobs will get much bigger.
One last thing, you will meet a man your junior year of college who will change your life forever. His name is Jon Hamm.