I know you have had, like, SUCH a drama-filled day, but would you please keep it down?
I know Spencer didn’t invite you to Starbucks today (OH THE HORROR), but get over it.
I know you want the world to know what a lovely laugh you have, but honey, you are not surrounded by the hyenas that you emulate.
I know you like to put your friend on speakerphone so you can paint your nails while discussing how you would pee yourself because ‘that’ would be, like, soooo funny, but ARE YOU DEAF?
I can hear your entire conversation! Are you talking directly into our shared wall…with a freakin megaphone???
I would really really appreciate it if you could just not laugh or talk on the phone in the future.
Thanks, like, soooo much gurrrl!
-Your (painstakingly quiet) neighbor