What do apples and Helen Keller have in common?

I’m bored.

I’m a bit under the weather at the moment.

I haven’t felt like blogging lately.

I haven’t even felt like being funny lately.


But for the sake of this blog, I will blog like I have never blogged before.

And I will blog about the most random thing ever. So random, that you probably don’t even know that these things exist.

Today, my friends, I will blog about applehead dolls. (gasp!)

I know this will undoubtedly give you nightmares, but bear with me. Please. Please .

Applehead dolls are a rare artform that are sadly misunderstood. Lots of time and energy go into the creation of these figures and their ghastly appearance has given them a bad rap among other more popular dolls. (Barbie, I’m talking to you, you little strumpet).

When I was in the seventh grade, we made these in art class. We had to make them look like a historical figure, so most people made little George Washingtons, Tommy Jeffersons, etc, etc, etc.

I can’t remember why, but for whatever reason I made the applehead doll version of Helen Keller, complete with a cane and glasses. Because I guess I thought glasses could help the blind. I don’t have little Helen anymore, so I can’t show you what she looked like. But I would imagine that by now she would have a raisin for a head and her glasses would be all rusty and tetanus-ridden.

Not sure what made me think about these little gems, but I did. Perhaps it’s the insane amount of (purely legal, I swear) drugs that I have been taking this week.

Sweet dreams tonight and may visions of appleheads dance through your heads.